I am torn between the need to be held, touched, fully accepted and the need to be alone.

Torn between the need to be seen for who I am and stay invisible.

Torn between life and death. Wanting to live life to the fullest and having constant thoughts about death.

Words never come from the mind — they live in my body. My mind is all jumbled thoughts and an inability to express the inside. I never know how to start writing. But I know, I can’t show up half-hearted.

Every time I sit down and write, I commit to…

Sometimes, we get caught up trying to solve our life. When we’re in the middle of the river, we don’t understand how bad things are.

We get over-upset about small things. Somebody’s snarky look, or a sneaky comment. Or simply seeing our neighbor's ugly bike in the middle of our…

If you’ve lived a hard life,

you’ll understand.


There is only one fear

bigger than the fear of death

and that is the dreaded feeling,

the fear of looking back.


Fear of facing the past

and reliving the event

— like a brave soldier.


Then you’ll also understand:

That the light that comes after that

is the most sacred light in existence.


For it is a relief

that no one else can provide you with,

but a gift only you can give yourself.

Let’s not let our words ruin the way

our bodies feel when we touch.

Let’s not be one of the many drifting apart,

putting their shield up for protection.

Let’s have the dreaded conversation

for the sake of protecting our magic.

When the rush of anger passes

we have a choice:

We either turn different directions and never look back

or look forward without any secrets.

If we chose to keep quiet,

we’ve lost the battle,

we’ve claimed the defeat too soon

and gave up on us.

Or we chose to go back to being together

without the need to fill in the silence

and enjoy each others’ closeness

without holding any secrets back.

So take my fingers loosely clasped in your lap

As I conquer the heavy feelings

and welcome the agonizing silence

before I express my true needs.

Wake up tired

Take the 4 hours of sleep every night,

Replace 1 hour of rest with 1 hour of work,

Answer a toxic friend you don’t even wanna talk to,

Remove a boundary — because nobody wants your boundaries!

Add self-improvement training to your long to-do list because you’re never good enough,

Add a pinch of procrastination to your morning routine.

If it doesn't taste bitter enough, add some more!

And.. don’t forget to remind yourself you’re falling behind schedule.

And voila,

Enjoy your self-made 🍸 Cortisol Cocktail 🍸

with an extra bitter taste that stays long after the hangover.

They were each other's hot project.

And once the spark fizzled out,

They were only hungry bodies

Craving for intimacy.

The need for intimacy is always there. To be connected to the other, to be seen and validated when emotionally exposed, to be naked in front of the world and universe itself. We crave hugs that last, a gentle kiss on the forehead, a stroke down the cheeks — being validated and feeling safe with one another. But we often confuse this need with sex.

I didn’t grow up with heroes I wanted to model,

but people I didn’t want to be like.

I didn’t see happy faces glow up,

but gloomy lost faces.

I’m sorry you’ve been through so much,

I’m sorry it hurt.

But your self-harming narrative

makes me love myself,

makes me rise above the excuses and fears

and live unlimited — a life you couldn’t choose.

The space between

I love you and

I need you

is infinite.

How dare we confuse both?

When the hard seasons of life attack

it’s time for loving self-compassion.


No need to attack back,

no need to rush forward,

for that never works.


Just step back,

in a cozy downtime of solitude,

and let love in.

Rose Quartz Writings

Compassion-infused writings. Written by a non-spiritual person, having a spiritual experience 🤍

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